Women value texting as a means of communication much higher than men do and often use it as a first step in filtering out potential relationships – both romantic and otherwise.
Don't believe me? Just ask a female friend.
The Journal of Computers in Human Behavior published a study in 2018, about texting and relationship satisfaction.
They concluded that similarity in texting behavior was a good indicator of success in relationships both short and long term.
In this article we will cover these 15 texts you should never send a woman:
- “Why Aren't You Answering Me?!” (The Aggressive Text)
- “Who's that guy?!” (The Jealous Text)
- “Think I'll Go To Bed Early Today…” (The White Lie Text)
- “Where Do You Want To Go?” (The Indecisive Text)
- “Please, Give Me Another Chance…” (The Pleading Text)
- “Hey, What's Up?” (The Everyday, Boring Text)
- “What Do You Do? Where Do You Live?” (The Rapid Fire Questions)
- “Just Checking Up On You…” (The Insecure Text)
- “I Want You To Have My Babies” (The Overwhelming, Emotional Text)
- “Sorry, Sorry, So Sorry…” (The Forced Apology Text)
- “Are You Sure, Tho?” – (The Seeking Approval Text)
- “I'm Bored” (The Entertain Me Text)
- “Good Morning, Sunshine.” (The Fake Nice Text)
- “Like What You See?” (The Bragging Selfie)
- “K” (The One Word Response)
In 2010, the Pew Research Center also conducted a study on texting. It showed that – on average – teen boys would receive 30 texts a day, while girls would receive as much as 80 – and that the number was increasing with age.
Examining the contents of the texts, they concluded that girls mainly used texting to socialize, while boys used it for passing information.
With all this in mind, it comes as no surprise that – yes – women JUDGE you based on the way you text.
Never thought texting was this serious? Well you should now. To make texting a bit easier for you, here are 15 texts you should NEVER send to a woman.
Risky Texts 1. “Why Aren't You Answering Me?!” (The Aggressive Text)
Women spend a lot of time using their phones to entertain themselves, much more than men do.
When a woman doesn’t answer a text, there are 3 likely reasons:
- She’s busy – in which case she will respond as soon as she gets the time.
- She forgot – in which case she will respond as soon as she thinks of you again.
- She doesn’t want to – in which case, well, you've probably done something wrong.
Regardless of which one it is, the worst thing you could do is text her something like this:
Guys send this text when they panic, thinking a woman is ignoring them or losing interest. Whether that's the case or not, demanding an answer almost always makes the situation worse.
Women view texting as casual socializing, so an answer ASAP is not guaranteed. If you have something important to talk about, it’s always better to just call them.
Risky Texts 2. “Who's That Guy?!” (The Jealous Text)
This text typically gets sent when a guy sees a woman he's interested in with another man, but he's unsure who that man is and what his relationship with her is.
But here's the reality of the situation;
- If you know her well, and that was someone important in her life, she would have mentioned him.
- If you don’t know her well, it’s probably none of your business – if it was she would tell you.
There's no point in sticking your nose into it.
Why demand an answer to a question that would answer itself anyway?
If you want to bring it up because you're genuinely curious, either do it in person or don't make it the topic of the conversation.
An alternative like “I saw you with someone and I didn't want to bother you” is a much better option, as it's a friendly invitation for her to explain who he was, and what they were doing.
Risky Texts 3. “Think I'll Go To Bed Early Today…” (The “White” Lies)
Small lies, which guys often use to impress a woman, can accumulate over time.
She might think you're cool at that moment, but at some point those lies are going to rise to the surface and everything you say or do from that day forward will be seen as untrustworthy.
On top of that, if she catches you lying through text, she even has proof – expect screenshots to be thrown right back in your face.
In fact, you should avoid lying altogether, regardless of if it's through text or not. Honesty is key in any relationship, especially a romantic one.
Risky Texts 4. “Where Do You Want To Go?” (The Indecisive Text)
Gentlemen, it's a fact that over 90% of first dates are initiated by men.
Many men, when they ask a woman out and she says “yes”, follow up by saying something along the lines of “what do you want to do/where do you want to go?”
Guys think this is good because they let the woman choose and think that she’ll appreciate it, while women think it’s just lazy.
The first thing that pops into a woman's head when she reads a text like this is “how should I know, you’re the one who asked me out…”. It shows that no creativity or thought was put into the date.
Before asking a woman out you should make sure you know her interests and can find something that you can both enjoy, or if you’re going to a simple drink/coffee date make sure to pick a place that's convenient for the both of you.
Risky Texts 5. “Please, Give Me Another Chance…” (The Pleading Text)
If you are in a situation where you feel like sending this kind of text, chances are you messed up so badly there’s no way any sort of short term apology will fix it.
What's more, when you beg someone for something, it gives them power over you.
It’s basically telling THEM they control YOUR fate, and not that your relationship involves both parties making decisions.
Texts like these come off as clingy and make it seem as if you have no other options, so you result to begging.
In the best-case scenario, the woman will just ignore them. But in the worst case, she may feel entitled to use that shift of power you just gave her, and rub it in your face.
Owning up to your mistakes and actually making an effort to fix it will produce results, even if it takes time.
Risky Texts 6. “Hey, What's Up?” (The Everyday, Boring Text)
Sending a random text like this without any context or intent to follow up with a story and start an actual conversation, is downright boring.
According to most women, they get them from guys on pretty much a daily basis.
Texts like this are unoriginal, the conversations feel forced and often don’t last, meaning the woman won’t put effort into them – as historically they didn't prove to bring any value to her.
Guys who send these come off as having nothing to say and are just begging for her attention. If you're going to text, make sure you have something to say.
Risky Texts 7. “What Do You Do? Where Do You Live?” (The Rapid Fire Questions)
When a guy feels a woman is unresponsive – or he simply doesn't know how to make texting fun – he might try to phrase every text as a question thinking “She has to respond now…”
On the other hand, women get annoyed by these texts because – not only do many guys send them – it makes it sound like they are being interviewed.
When people feel like they are being interviewed or screened it removes the fun from the conversation, as the person receiving the questions feels pressured to answer.
This pressure often leads to the responses being only one sentence long or simply stating facts. Or worse yet, you end up with dishonest answers altogether.
Texting “what do you do for a living?”, for example, is fine and shows interest, but following her answer up with another question instead of expanding on what she said is what changes the text from “conversation” to “Q&A time”.
A good rule here is to imagine you're having an in-person conversation. You wouldn't quit your date at the dinner table, so don't do it over a phone screen. Simple.
Risky Texts 8. “Just Checking Up On You…” (The Insecure Text)
So you haven't heard from her in what seems like forever at this point, what should you do?
One of the texts you should never send to a woman is a text questioning her actions and whereabouts.
Checking up on her – to see if everything is okay – is fine, but demanding information and being possessive is always a turn-off. After all, she has a life outside of your relationship, no matter how serious it is between the two of you.
If you push too hard, she’s either going to stop talking to you or start outright lying to you. Even worse, you might frighten her by making her think you’re randomly going to show up uninvited, or that you might be following her.
Risky Texts 9. “I Want You To Have My Babies!” (The Overwhelming, Emotional Text)
She might appreciate the sentiment, but sending an overly emotional text when she's not on board with your feelings could spell trouble.
An emotional message from you requires an emotional response from her. If she's not in the same boat as you, she'll either be too shy to be honest or feel as though she has to lie to keep you happy. Neither one of these is above board and will lead to heartache.
Remember gents, don't rock the boat early on. Play it cool, avoid any emotional blunders and reap the benefits. Save the emotions for later on in the relationship when you're talking in person.
If she doesn’t feel the same way, this can lead to conflict, and the woman might ignore the conversation going forward to avoid escalation.
If she does feels the same, she might try to reserve it until you meet up, to save for the right moment. This might be misinterpreted as her ignoring you.
Risky Texts 10. “Sorry, Sorry, So Sorry…” (The Forced Apology Text)
Dragging out an apology – after she already forgave you – is annoying and it’s an obvious beg for attention.
Most women are used to the fact that, when they get a text like that, a lame “I want to make it up to you” response will follow.
The text usually blows things out of proportion intentionally, so the guy can make an unnecessary or excessive offer in exchange for his mistake.
Using an apology to ask a woman out somewhere is a tactic that women recognize and hate. They're not stupid; they know you are trying to make her go out with you by using pity.
If you genuinely want to make it up to her, you can start by asking what you can do to correct the situation:
- You: “Sorry I couldn't make it to your birthday, is there anything I can do to make up for it?”
- Her: “YES! Come over tomorrow for some leftover cake.”
Risky Texts 11. “Are You Sure, Though?” (The Seeking Approval Text)
Don’t send texts blatantly seeking her approval to do something important to you or something that you should be fully capable of deciding to do yourself.
She won't hate you if you decide to change plans or exclude her from them, as long as it's done respectfully and with enough notice for her to make her own changes. You could also then offer to catch up with her another time.
According to women, one of the worst traits a guy can have is to be constantly seeking approval from people and relying too much on the opinion of others.
Women like it when a guy is decisive and doesn't evade responsibility, and these men have thicker skin than other guys – they can take “No” for an answer, and women like this.
Risky Texts 12. “I'm Bored” (The Entertain Me Text)
When you send a text like this, you paint yourself as a boring person with not much going for you.
This makes you unattractive to women – it makes it seem as if you don't value your time and rely on others to fill out your day.
On top of many women's lists of reasons why someone left a bad impression is: “He’s a total bore…”
The fact is, she's not here to entertain you. If you can’t even entertain yourself, what kind of catch are you going to be to her?
Risky Texts 13. “Good Morning, Sunshine.” (The Fake Nice Text)
Sending a “good morning” text too early in a relationship just doesn't work. Lots of guys do it to try and grab the woman's attention first thing in the morning.
Women think it’s pointless – it comes off as trying too hard. Even if the guy is truly super nice, it will likely be interpreted as fake.
There’s not much she can follow up with because her mornings are usually reserved for work or study-related things.
She might still be tired, and chances are she doesn't have time to chat, which makes it more likely for her to forget to respond or send a half-answer that neither of you are happy with.
Risky Texts 14. “Like What You See?” (The Bragging Selfie)
Sending a selfie without giving context is in the same category as number 6 on this list.
This is because you give her no reason to respond with more than just a few words. The best thing you can hope for is a “heart eye” emoji if you look good in the picture.
Even if you do look good, you still might come off as a showoff.
Sending a woman pointless selfies is bad because – if she’s interested in you – she’s already checking your social media pages which are likely full of photos.
If you have something to show her, then, by all means, send a picture but make it obvious what you're trying to say:
- You: “Check out this outfit I wore today!”
- Her: “What’s the occasion?”
- You: “Nothing, just thought I'd wear a suit for a change!”
- Her: “Looking great!”
Oh, and when you do send a picture…don't forget how to smile properly!
Risky Texts 15. “K” (The One Word Response)
We’ve all been in scenarios when we share something interesting and expect a reaction, only to have the other person say something as simple as “alright” or “k”.
It makes us feel as if the other person either wasn’t listening or they were just waiting for us to finish what we were saying because they weren't interested in what we had to say.
If your intent is to close the conversation by using a one-word response, a much better way would be to use something like “Thanks for letting me know, talk soon”.
This lets the other person know their effort in the interaction was appreciated and you expect there to be more of it in the future, just not now.
Remember, writing without any special characters or abbreviations like R for “are” or U for “you” will be your best option.
It's really annoying to have to decipher a text message filled with filler words and emojis. Click here to watch our video on whether or not women like emojis.
So pay attention to grammar, it's better to make that small effort than to risk coming off as lazy or unintelligent.
Have you sent one of these texts and now you're in the dog house? The only way to get out is to buy her a gift – click here to discover the perfect present to buy your wife or girlfriend.
This article would not have been possible without our friend Claudia Cox, founder of Text Weapon. Sign up for your FREE 30 day Texting Club trial.
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Click below to watch the video – 12 Texts You Should NEVER Send A Woman
The post 15 Texts You Should NEVER Send A Woman (Or Face The Consequences) appeared first on Real Men Real Style.
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